Your phone explodes with a notification:
Crypto tokens gossiped revolution! Based coins attacking!

You grab a coffee and peer outside - Ethereum whales with laser drills chase the mailman, a doge barks orders on TV and Satoshi himself, raining Bitcoins from the heavens and breathing a soul into the red coin army! The bros have gone rogue!

But you, the chosen one with a shoelace trip, grab your green pool noodle lightsaber - Time to fight!

Buy or Die!